To The Beat of Their Own Drum:Finding the Right Place for Your Child in the Arts
by Susanna Bartee

Today’s kids have countless opportunities to exercise their creative sides. Just about every community seems to have classes in the arts for all ages. But with so many choices, where does a parent begin to find the right place for a child’s first foray into the arts? As your teen’s artistic skills improve, how do you help him choose the program that’s best? And what do you do when your child utters the dreaded words, “I don’t want to practice…I want to quit!”? When your child is young, experts agree you should begin by assessing interests. Pay attention to your three-year-old twirling like a ballerina or your six-year-old plunking out a simple tune on the piano.

Parents of elementary school-aged children should let their kids try out lots of new things, advises Karen Lelli Austin, director of the University of Virginia’s Saturday and Summer Enrichment Program. Then, as talent and enthusiasm in a particular area emerge, devote more time.

“If a child exudes interest and a desire to go to class, it gives you a measure of understanding how they feel,” Austin explains. “It shouldn’t be more work than pleasure, although challenging is okay.”

Once you decide on formal lessons in any particular area, here are some things to keep in mind.

DANCE The Mother’s Almanac, by Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons, suggests finding a dance school that puts the pleasure of its students ahead of business. The point at this age is to have fun and explore dance in general. A class should be no larger than 20 students, and it’s good to remember that recitals typically make the parents happy, not necessarily the kids.

Visit several dance schools and judge the teacher’s ability by the way he or she deals with the children.

“…see how well she understands how they’re built, so that none of the movements she suggests will strain their young muscles—the most critical knowledge she can have,” the authors add.

Once a child becomes a pre-teen, she is capable of deciding how much time to commit to further training. Longer practices, special performances and private lessons can all be discussed with a trusted teacher.

MUSIC Kelly and Parsons suggest waiting until a child can read before beginning formal training in music. Both the Suzuki and Carl Orff methods are cited as popular and successful.

“When your child is ready for traditional training, she’ll need a teacher so good that she can stretch her potential to its limits and still make the half-hour [lesson] happy,” the authors say.

The same can be said for older children. A good teacher makes it fun and keeps the student both challenged and enthusiastic.

Keep in mind that more extensive options in your school system usually begin in middle school. Even if your pre-teen has not already expressed an interest, getting involved in band or chorus may be a turning point.

Sarah Eadie is a middle school chorus director and holds a degree in vocal performance. She suggests that parents who want to pursue extra-curricular training check out references for music teachers who operate out of their homes. Piano teachers, for instance, may belong to different guilds or organizations and potential clients can check with those groups for the standards they uphold. Compare prices and look for someone with experience with your child’s age group, Eadie adds.

THEATER Many of the same guidelines apply when looking for a place to involve your child in theater, says Cathy Stapleton, owner of the Charlottesville School for the Dramatic Arts in Virginia. Be suspicious of any school that does not encourage parents to observe before enrolling their children and look for teachers who genuinely like working with kids, she says. If there is a lot of laughter and the teacher is able to control the class in a fun and relaxed way, she explains, you can trust your gut and feel good about it.

As for knowing if and when a child is right for theater training, Stapleton says to gauge the child’s initial reaction to the idea. Talent is not the primary thing she looks for in her students, she goes on to say.

“I’m not looking so much for talent as I am dedication and commitment,” she says. “The point of this school is that everyone works together.”

As for those times a student wants to quit, Timothy Summers, co-director of the Charlottesville Chamber Music Festival, suggests that parents must have the wisdom to discern the desire to stop practicing from the true longing to quit.

“If it’s something you really love, sooner or later you will want to start practicing again,” the professional violinist says, speaking from experience. He remembers times he did not want to practice when he was concertmaster for the youth orchestra in high school. His parents fortunately found the balance between encouraging him to continue, while not overtly pressuring him.

Summers is a good example of someone who found his passion early in life and never lacked in dedication. Jealous of a piano-playing older brother, Summers began violin lessons at age four. He believes guidance in the arts should begin as soon as possible.

Austin agrees that some parents understand what it takes to become an expert and know that the investment has to start early. She works with college students extremely successful in their particular artistic field and has found that most had parents who would not allow them to quit.

“But it shouldn’t be a distasteful experience,” she cautions, “and it should include a family dedication to the art or skill just as families dedicate themselves to certain sports.”

Eadie agrees that parents must strike a balance between nurturing a child’s progress and allowing room for a change. She suggests setting a time commitment with the child and agreeing to follow through until the deadline before deciding if the child should continue.

Stapleton points out that we live in a society of instant gratification and learning a bit about sticking with something even when it’s not all fun can be important. It is really up to the parent to discern what’s best for each child, she says.

When deciding about future commitments, parents should always consider the child’s personality and history of sticking with it, Eadie explains. Kids who refuse to practice are really just wasting a parent’s money, she adds frankly. Whether or not pushing works is a tough call to make, she says, telling of two middle school students she has taught. One is the daughter of a professional musician who requires his daughter to practice her flute three to four hours per day. The student is very talented, seems happy and shows no regret. Eadie contrasts her with another student who is required to practice piano for long hours and plays beautifully but professes to hate it.

Eadie relates another story of a musical prodigy with a domineering father who forced her to practice throughout her childhood.

“Fortunately she grew up to love it,” says Eadie. “But there are many others who end up falling off the face of the planet after their candle is burned.”

“Really the most successful ones will be right in the middle,” Eadie adds. “If you enjoy doing it, chances are you will be good at it.”

Susanna Hickman Bartee is an Army wife living with her husband and four children near Ansbach, Germany. She is the founder and editor of www.militarymama.net.

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